Bienvenidos!

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pointless

do you think not having any lunch makes it ok to have two puddings? i do. maybe.

i've been thinking lately about how boring i must seem. although i am often the butt of people's jokes i can seldom make them myself, my cutting replies have about as much as an effect as a spoon on steak and my mind just doesn't seem to do deep and meaningful, however much i would like it to. i'm not drowning in poetic angst nor do i possess the tortured soul of an unrecognised musical genius. i see the beauty in things but am at a loss when it comes to describing or depicting it. all the images in my head are doomed to stay there forever as my attempts to free them look like an amateur's scribble, and a decent photograph by my hand comprises of one with the subject vaguely in the frame and no thumbs. the only thing that ever made me stand out was that i was smarter than most people i knew, but now i'm at university everyone else is smarter than me. i dont have a vibrant, sparkling personality, i just drift through life in a vacant, happy daze believing that no harm will come to me because people don't usually notice i'm there until i'm not. if i try to be interesting i become irritating. if i try for deep and meaningful i sound pretentious and repetitive. if i try and be amusing either it falls flat or nobody understands the joke but me.

when it comes down to it, what is the point of me?

9:13 p.m. - 2004-01-07

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