Bienvenidos!

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too many negatives

its later than i wanted to be up tonight. i can hear the quiet but relentless tick of the watch on the desk in front of me, the impersonal hum of the computer and i am increasingly aware of the ache down the left hand side of my back as i persist in sitting in a bad position.

i would like ian to say that he wants to see me, but he hasnt, and he won't. and though i'm not surprised by this, it doesnt stop me from feeling sad about it. and even though i know he needs to revise, i still feel a little stung. and a little lost, as i wont be able to see him until summer now, if he still wants to see me at all.

i should ask, but i'm afraid of the answer.

11:22 p.m. - 2004-04-05

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