Bienvenidos!

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Fifteen and one

Trying to revise for Part 2. It's not going well. I'm in awe of the amount of stuff I'm supposed to know and don't, and amazed I managed to get through part one. I keep telling myself it's ok if I don't pass this time, that I can't unlearn what I've learned (although that's not true as I'm bound to forget it with a small thing to look after) but it's not really helping. I'm worried about my portfolio and that I'm going to have to have an ARCP meeting thanks to my slacking earlier in the year. I'm worried about being on the AMU at Southport with little reg support. I don't feel ready.

I've been haunting this blog of a woman down in London - her pregnancy blog - it can be a bit irritating at times but yesterday I had this weird feeling of jealousy that she didn't have to go to work and worry about portfolios and appraisals and work-based assessments and other peoples lives and could just be a stay at home wife and mother. I don't agree with a lot of things she does but a little part of me sometimes wishes I had that luxury, just to see what it was like. But I know if I get off the Career carousel and take a break like that then no-one will want to take me on when I eventually decide to get back on (oh, no, why hire her when there are other far more motivated applicants?)

Today is another day I wish I had chosen a different path.

Sigh.

9:54 p.m. - 2011-06-20

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