Bienvenidos!

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happy new year

so. last day of 2004 and what am i doing? sitting at home feeling incredibly guilty.

i went out last night for a drink with toni. i wasnt intending to get as tipsy as i did and i certainly didnt set out to re-complicate matters with her... but i did. and now i feel all crappy because of john and my conscience telling me i'm a bad bad person. it does that a lot.

so how was your 2004?

fun, for the most part.. i started fencing, which was one of the best things about it, grew up a lot, which i'm not sure was such a good thing. saw different sides of people, different sides of me... passed my first year of med school, went to LA on my own, realised how much i disliked my job.. eased into my second year.. had house parties, did cliquey medic things and realised i have more fun with the fencers, kicked ass at fencing competitions and felt like i really was worth the effort i put in.. realised that you can let someone go without hating them, and that it feels so much better when you do. and now, still feeling guilty but not so much (ahh the wonder of msn IM...)

so what for next year? my main goals are to apply myself more to my studies, take less shit from people, become less susceptible to temptation, become a culinary genius, get fantastic biceps and lose the flabby hippage. i'm sure i'll think of more but these i can work with for now. in addition, i'm going to appreciate what i have more than i do currently, because i think sometimes i get so wrapped up in the things that dont matter that i forget how lucky i am. to be fair, my perspectives have improved greatly over this last year, but i think they still need tweaking.

who am i?

i am intelligent
i am beautiful
i am strong
i am confident
i am individual
i am one of a team
i am content
i am loved
and i love.

7:31 p.m. - 2004-12-31

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