Bienvenidos!

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lewser!

yeah i'm updating twice in 24 hours, that's how bored i am.

i feel so so cut off at the mo, with em and kate being away. meg is still here but she still has hannah, nicki, that group and her uni friends around. i'm just really sad and have no other home friends. i spent the whole of joe's barbecue keeping out the way because it was making me feel bitter, and now i'm reading that meg's going out down notts (i didnt know meg did notts) and ian has people round and i just feel like such a lonely boring loser.

and it doesnt help that stuff keeps reminding me of people... i have notes and pics of em and kate all over the place, and when i go out and see manga stuff, futurama or southpark junk i keep thinking of ian. and when i dream sometimes he's there. and things like the tshirts i wore when i last saw him, or mentally choosing what i want to wear next time keeps bringing him back into my head. and then i get frustrated cos this stupid rota won't let me see any of my friends for a decent length of time but at the same time i dont want to drop any shifts because my god i need the money. so i'm just permanently pissed off.

i'm also annoyed at myself because i'm not doing enough exercise and i'm getting wobbly again. i cant really go swimming with the two new piercings but i got an aerobics leaflet from the leisure centre so when i'm not working i'm going to try and go to those. or go running. i took the dog for a run the other day and felt pretty good about it afterwards. was quite good for me because we'd run a bit then he'd slow down to sniff something so i had a bit of a break, then off he'd go again. i nearly tripped over the lead a couple of times though.

i've texted amy again so maybe we'll be able to go out this friday instead. well, i've been stuck in this long, one more week can't hurt. realised earlier when looking at my bank balance that i'd forgotten to write down two CDs i bought on my card, so instead of having �400 in the bank i actually had �375, which is annoying. but i still have about six more paydays to come, so i'm hoping i can exercise enough self-control to stop me from spending the rest of my wages as soon as i get them. so after driving and stuff i should earn about �700 more this holiday. so yay! fingers crossed...

i'm gonna go now because this entry is filling up with rubbish twaddle about my boring life at home and it's so not interesting.

until next time folks,

g'night

8:56 p.m. - 2004-07-26

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